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    31 januari

    2006 idiot report

    Number One Idiot of 2006

     I am a medical student currently doing a rotation in toxicology at

     the poison control center. Today, this woman called in very upset

     because she caught her little daughter eating ants. I quickly

     reassured her that the ants are not harmful and there would be no need
     to
     bring her

    daughter into the hospital. She calmed down and at the end of the

     conversation

     happened to mention that she gave her daughter some ant  poison to

     eat in order to kill the ants.I told her that she better bring her

     daughter into the

     emergency room right away.

     Here's your sign, lady. Wear it with pride.

    > >  ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
      Number Two Idiot of 2006

     Early this year, some Boeing employees on the airfield decided to

     steal a life raft from one of the 747s. They were successful in

     getting it out of the plane and home. Shortly after they took it for a

     float on the river,they noticed a Coast Guard helicopter coming towards

     them. It turned out that the chopper was homing in on the emergency

     locator

    beacon that activated when the raft was inflated. They are no longer

    employed at Boeing.

     Here's your sign, guys. Don't get it wet; the paint might run.
    > > >~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

     Number Three Idiot of 2006

    A man, wanting to rob a downtown Bank of America, walked into the

     Branch and wrote, "Put all your muny in this bag." While

     standing in line,waiting to give his note to the teller, he began to
     worry

    that someone had seen him write the note and might call the police
     before
     he reached the teller's window. So he left the Bank of America and

     crossed the street to the Wells Fargo Bank. After waiting a few minutes
     in

     line, he handed his note to the Wells Fargo teller. She read it and,

     surmising from his spelling errors that he wasn't the

     brightest light in the harbor, told him that she could not accept

     his stickup note because it was written on a Bank of America

     deposit slip and  that he would either have to fill out a Wells Fargo

     deposit slip or go back to Bank of America. Looking somewhat defeated,
     the
     man

     said, "OK" and left. He was arrested a few minutes later, as he was

    waiting in line back at Bank of America.

    Don't bother with this guy's sign. He probably couldn't read it anyway.

    > > ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

      Number Four Idiot of 2006

     A motorist was unknowingly caught in an automated speed trap that;

     measured his speed using radar and photographed his car. He later

     received in the mail a ticket for $40 and a photo of his car. Instead
     of
     payment, he sent the police department a photograph of $40. Several> days
     later, he received a letter from the police that contained
     another

     picture,

     this  time of handcuffs.

    He immediately mailed in his $40.

     Wise guy........ But you still get a sign

    > >   ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

     Number Five Idiot of 2006

     A guy walked into a little corner store with a shotgun

     and demanded all of

      the cash from the cash drawer. After the cashier put the

     cash in a bag,

      the robber saw a bottle of Scotch that he wanted behind

      the counter on the shelf. He told the cashier to put it in the bag as

      well,

      but the cashier refused and said, "Because I don't believe you are
     over
      21." The robber said he was, but the clerk still refused to give it to

      him because she didn't believe him. At this point, the robber took his

      driver's license out of his wallet and gave it to

      the clerk. The clerk looked it over and agreed that the man was in

     fact over 21 and she put the Scotch in the bag. The robber
     
    then ran from the store with his loot.

      The cashier promptly called the police and gave the name

      and address of the robber t hat he got off the license. They arrested
     the

      robber two hours later.

      This guy definitely needs a sign.

    > >  ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

     Idiot Number Six of 2006

    A pair of Michigan robbers entered a record shop

      nervously waving revolvers.

     The first one shouted, "Nobody move!" When his partner

      moved, the startled first bandit shot him.

      This guy doesn't even deserve a sign

    > >  ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

     Idiot Number Seven of 2006

     Arkansas: Seems this guy wanted some beer pretty badly.

      He decided that he'd just throw a cinder block through a liquor store

      window, grab some booze, and run. So he lifted the cinder block and

     heaved

    it over his head at the window. The cinder block bounced back knocking

      him

      unconscious. It seems the liquor store window was made of Plexi-Glass.

      The whole event was caught on videotape.
      Yep, Here's your sign

      (Please note that all of the above people are allowed to vote)